Admire. Out of the dozens of words I could have randomly chosen from the jar today, I chose ‘admire’. A little spooky when the last post I did was on the word ’emulate’ and I spoke about a few famous people I admire.

I’m very fortunate to have loads of role models in my life in the shape of family members, friends and some colleagues but there are others I admire too….and strangely enough I probably don’t even know them.

It may be even you! 

Lately I’ve spent a lot of time connecting with likeminded writers and business owners via social media.

It seems that while we are all truly unique, that there are loads of us that share common goals, challenges and interests.

It’s energising to see people going after the same things you are, it’s inspiring to see them kicking butt in their chosen field and it’s comforting to see that we all have our challenges and not so great days.

I’ve found that it’s not hard to find people you admire.

There’s the entrepreneurs living and breathing their dreams, the start-ups going after everything, the creators making amazing things, the mums and dads juggling life and business, the dedicated stay-at-home parents, the millennials and youngsters finding their feet in this big world, the teachers, the charity workers, the nurses, the office workers, the bus drivers, all of you getting on with your day with gusto, optimism and tenacity.

Then there’s the ones that maybe aren’t having such a great day but will do their best to just get though it….and most of all the ones that stop to give a moment of kindness to another person.

Yes I admire you.

But what value is there in me admiring you…especially if you don’t even know me?

Instead admire yourself. Admire all the things you are good at…and trust me there are plenty…we are all good at some things.

Then go out and find your community of people who you admire. The ones that you connect with and have things in common. The ones that you feel good to be around.

They may be right in your neighbourhood or in social media land, but they are out there just waiting for you to join them….just waiting to admire you and for you to admire them…a community of mutual admiration and respect…now that’s something you can really value.

‘Admire’ is today’s word out of the jar. Read more about my . 

I have a love hate relationship with treats.

I love having them but then I don’t really like myself much afterwards.

When I think about treats, the first thing that comes to mind is food or drinks.

Having ‘kicked’ the sugar habit several years ago, I honestly don’t indulge in typical treats that often.

I know everybody says that but I mean it.

I’m sitting here right now with my coffee made with unsweetened almond milk and no sugar and my homemade coconut chia-seed pudding – yes I sound like a bit of a…something rather…but that’s my breakfast and I like it.

That all being said, a friend and I took our boys out for a ‘treat’ yesterday.

They asked for chocolate milkshakes and chocolate fondue with marshmallows and strawberries.

I knew the fondue would be huge and I would have to ‘help‘ them finish it off.

Then I ordered an iced coffee for myself.

‘Cream and ice-cream with that?’ the server asked.

I say, ‘just cream..oh no…no cream.’

‘So no to ice cream and cream?!?’ the confused server asked.

Trying to help the poor girl out I thought I’d make it easier for her and said, ‘actually I’ll have cream and ice cream.’

Yep…I wanted to ‘help’ the server out.

That though was my weekly treat.

But does wine or champagne count as treats? Because I’ll have a couple of those over the course of the week…just a couple…for sure.

A business coach recently encouraged me to identify a reward for getting a particular project completed…that didn’t involve food or drink…I came up with having quality time with Thelma my Thermomix.

Not exactly unrelated to food or drink but I do try to make super healthy stuff in it….like chia seed puddings, raw protein balls and….custard…here I go again.

Occasionally I indulge in the automatic custard setting. Chuck in some milk, eggs and a little sugar, press a button and it’s all done a few minutes later…those Thermomix geniuses I could just kiss them.

Of course I have other occasional treats, binge watching episodes of Friends, reading a good book, going to a movie, buying a good book…or cookbook…or going out to dinner…see I’m back to food again.

All jokes aside. I am pretty disciplined about treats being a treat and not an everyday thing. More like a once a week thing. And I’m no longer going to punish myself for it.

Life is way too short to not enjoy the occasional treat.

So go ahead and treat yourself today!

‘Treat’ is today’s word out of the jar. Read more about my . 

To stay in the know about my writing projects and to receive regular writing tips and articles like this, .

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that an (aspiring) author in possession of a book (idea) to sell, must be in want of an author brand or platform.”

I’ve taken some liberty with Jane Austen’s words but I’m sure she would have agreed with the sentiment.

Jane Austen lived at a time when books by women were usually published anonymously. I like to think she would have jumped, in a most lady-like manner, at the chance to promote herself as an author.  

Why then do many (aspiring) authors, who want to get their books out into the world, consider marketing a necessary evil, or just downright evil?

The answer lies in the undeniable fact that creating an author brand or platform can at times be frustrating, confusing or annoying – ‘you mean I actually have to do social media?’.

The good news is that many of the objections or challenges relating to marketing can be overcome with a little persistence and the right guidance.

Unfortunately, this does nothing to address the many misconceptions that continue to plague marketing and stop some writers from embracing their author brand.

I’m here to restore your faith in marketing by busting some of the most common myths surrounding author brand and related topics.

Branding is for Businesses Not Authors

The easiest way to clear this one up is to ask yourself whether you want to make money from selling your books.

If you answered yes, then you need to treat your writing as a business, otherwise, it’s a hobby.

Being a professional writer or author entails all of the regular activities a business owner needs to undertake, marketing being one of them.

Your author brand is the foundation of all of your marketing activities, and it is much more than having a beautiful logo and business cards.

Brand is the experience or feeling you create every time you interact with the world. It is what you say and how you say it – it is how you make people you communicate with feel.

It is about creating a consistent voice for you and your writing that resonates with readers, publishers, agents, and other people important to your success.

I Don’t Need to Worry About Brand Yet

If you haven’t published a book yet, you may think it’s okay to wait before developing your author brand.

In fact, the best time to start marketing yourself as an (aspiring) author is now!

The more time you have to build your platform, get followers and refine your messaging, the easier it will be when you are querying agents and publishers, or are ready to launch your book.

I Don’t Like Selling Myself So I Don’t Like Marketing

Guess what? Most people don’t like ‘selling’ themselves and no one likes being ‘sold’ to.

Fortunately, marketing isn’t about ‘selling’. It is about making meaningful and authentic connections with people who are interested in you and your work.

Connecting with the right people through social media and other communication channels builds a support network of people who, when the time comes, won’t just buy or invest in your book, but will do the ‘selling’ for you. They will become your brand fans and ambassadors.

To stay in the know about my writing projects and to receive regular writing tips and articles like this, .

Trust is the cornerstone of all relationships.

It’s the secret to personal connections, as well as business success.

Every day we make multiple decisions, sometimes in an instant, about whether to trust others.

We measure our hopes and aspirations against our worries and fears to determine whether someone is worthy of trust.

So how do we know whether someone is friend or foe? How do we earn other’s trust? And how do we trust ourselves?

This article in explains why some people are better at being trustworthy and judging trustworthiness.

Of course there are many factors affecting ability to trust—past experiences and betrayals, the ability to judge character, and to some extent personality, as well as whether we had a ‘secure’ or ‘insecure’ attachment and experience with our childhood caregivers.

“A child who learns the lesson that people close to her are reliable, can be trusted, and will take care of her goes out into the world with very different mental presentations and expectations about human interaction than an insecurely attached peer.”

I’m lucky enough to fit into the secure category and hope to do the same for my own son.

Fortunately there are ways for people who have had different experiences to improve their ability to trust..

“…Resolving trust issues is not about getting another person to be trustworthy. It’s about you become a trustworthy person with yourself and learning to trust yourself.”

For me it’s incredibly important for my own happiness to be a trustworthy person.

I must trust that “I have this”—that I can complete a difficult task.

I must inspire trust from my clients that I will do what I promised.

I must deliver on my commitments to my friends and family.

I must deliver on commitments made to myself: self-care; finish that novel; be kind to myself.

All of these things come down to “do what you say you were going to do”.

It involves taking responsibility for my actions and accepting blame when I’ve been wrong.

It involves giving credit to others when it’s due, and a genuine wish to help others.

I know that when I have good self-trust that I feel better about myself and more inclined to trust others.

Sure sometimes I get burnt by other people, but it comes down to this:

Do you prefer to believe that that the world is here to help you or that it’s against you?

On the most part I prefer to believe the former. That is, learn to trust and be trusted, and that leads to happiness—well at least more times than not—so I choose trust.

‘Trust’ is today’s word out of the jar. Read more about my .  

How do you create a good novel structure?

1. The hook
2. The inciting event
3. Progress
4. The setbacks
5. The midpoint
6. The final confrontation

As a content marker and online publisher a lot of the work I do is in the digital and social media world.

We often hear (and tell people) that we need to be ‘authentic’ in our storytelling, that we should create ‘authentic’ connections with people meaningful to us and our business.

I totally agree.

The thing though that has been stumping me for some time though is exactly HOW can we create REAL, AUTHENTIC and MEANINGFUL connections with people in a digital world?

Sure we can start conversations and engage with others like we’ve never been able to before.

In many ways we are more connected than ever – in a technological sense – but is it the same type of connection we get from meeting someone in the flesh – IRL? Are we in some ways more disconnected then ever? Is social media in fact anti-social media?

How can we recapture the same feeling and instant feedback loop we get when speaking to someone who is physically in the same space as us? Is it possible?

I was determined to get to the bottom of this and speak to people who are doing this as part of their work, as well as experts in human behaviour and communication.

I decided to create My Let’s Get Real Project – to pinpoint how to create the In Real Life Feeling (IRLF) in any communication circumstances.

Then on the very day I start formulating this project I reached for my latest word – and out of the hundreds of words I could have randomly chose I picked ‘authentic’.

Spooky right!

So consider this project started.

If you have any input or ideas you’d like to add to My Let’s Get Real Project .

‘Authentic’ is today’s word out of the jar. Read more about my 

There’s a great series of ads here in Australia from an insurance company featuring ‘Captain Risky’.

is a self-styled Evel Knievel wannabe who says: “I’ve always been drawn to risk – like a moth to an oxy-acety-lene flame”.

He performs crazy stunt after crazy stunt and has some epic fails along the way. Yet he goes on undeterred.

“One thing I do know is that sometimes you gotta go out on a limb – ‘cos that’s where the fruit is.”

There’s some real wisdom in that.

Sometimes you have to take a chance, take a risk – the magic happens outside your comfort zone, but what if you’re risk averse by nature…

I’m a safety first type of person.

Always unplug the iron after you’ve used it. Put the hot iron somewhere safe in case an incredibly powerful gust of wind suddenly materialises out of nowhere and blows it over. Go back and check it three times to make sure it is off, unplugged and hasn’t been knocked over.

Okay so that’s really just being sensible and a ‘little’ OCD.

Does being safe though mean I’m risk averse?

I don’t like going on scary rides, I have no wish to jump out of a plane, swim with sharks or bungy jump. I don’t particularly like flying.

Risk averse? I’m not sure.

I do know that I don’t like the feeling of something being completely out of my control and I also don’t like the feeling of puking everywhere – motion sickness is the number one reason I don’t like scary rides.

But this doesn’t necessarily make me risk averse.

In my life I’ve taken some BIG risks.

I’ve left a good job in a small country town and moved to Tokyo, not knowing a soul there or speaking any Japanese. All after living in only two country towns my whole life.

I have packed up my life and moved to cities of strangers several times with no job or income lined up.

I started my own business and several entrepreneurial ventures, some which have paid off and some which haven’t.

I have spent years working on fictional novels that may never be seen by the world.

So I take risks.

Why?

Because the If Onlys scare me way more than the What Ifs.

Just maybe the risk will pay off…just maybe.

But I’m probably what you would call a calculated risk-taker.

I like hedging my bets.

I like to thoroughly research something first and have a solid plan of attack, followed by Plan B, Plan C and an exit strategy.

I do know that real risk takers don’t have a Plan B necessarily, which isn’t a bad thing, it’s just not me. I’m a Plan B kind of girl.

My risks are probably a bit tamer as a result, but they’re still risks.

So from this day forth I would like to to be known as Captain Calculated Risky!

And as Captain Risky says…”Kick It and Rip It”….after a thorough risk assessment of course.

‘Risk’ is today’s word out of the jar. Read more about my .  

I love being a writer. It is all I have ever wanted to do, but doing it for a living and balancing it among other work and life priorities can be downright hard. Whenever I do need a boost, inspiration, motivation or writing tips I turn to a few key books – here are what I think are the top books every writer needs to read.

1. Living as a Creative –

I’m a scaredy-cat by nature. Many writers I have come across are. For me, fear goes along with my overly active imagination that always asks ‘what if?’.

It’s great for fiction writing but not so good for getting over those fears of ‘am I really any good at this?’, ‘should I just give up?’, and any version of the ‘I’m a fraud’ factor many of us are regularly afflicted by. 

What I love about ” is that it deals with all of these fears and more. Gilbert encourages the writer to accept fear and invite it along on your journey, but never to let it in the “driving seat”. Beautifully written and packed with useful heart-felt advice on how to live a creative life.

2. Making Money as a Writer – 

One of the most quoted lines from this book is ‘Beauty is good, but coin is better. You can’t eat artistic integrity. It tastes like sawdust.’ It is the perfect summary of the theme of Birmingham’s book.

If you’ve ever wanted to make money from writing, be it as a freelancer, a features writer or author, then this is the book for you.

Notice though I didn’t say it was for poets…Birmingham doesn’t have any useful advice for poets, but he does have a wicked sense of humour – he really knows his sh…stuff.

There’s plenty of expert tips and laughs along the way starting with the tongue in cheek full title: : Who Smashes Deadlines, Crushes Editors and Lives in a Solid Gold Hovercraft.  

Topics covered include ‘How to slay writer’s block’, ‘What the hell is workflow?’, ‘How to write 10,000 words in a day’ and ‘The best apps for writers’. Hard-core, real-world practical advice. Read it if you dare!

3. Mastering Language –

is a guide to mastering language, written by the master himself.

Helpful advice, tips and instruction on using language is threaded among personal anecdotes and memoir.

King uses his life and writing experience, as well as examples from his own novels, to illustrate technical writing points. He shares the experiences, habits, and convictions that have shaped him and his work. If you’re a Stephen King fan you will get a serious kick out of this. Even if you’re not – and I don’t read much of his stuff (I told you I’m a scaredy cat) – you will still find it incredibly helpful.

For one, I share King’s hate for passive voice. If you catch me doing it feel free to tag me with a narky tweet. Scratch that. For all I know I’ve dropped a few clangers in this post. 

He also declares war on adverbs, which has led me to revisit my own work and weed out the little buggers but also live in perpetual fear of them. So I’d say King’s ‘On Writing’ mission is accomplished in terms of improving my writing.

4. Putting Yourself Out There – 

I have mentioned this book more than once in my blog posts, for several reasons.

Firstly, I have a massive writing and marketing crush on Seth Godin. Love your guts mate!

Secondly, this book is freakin’ awesome.

 is an urgent call to action to writers and other creative types to stop waiting ‘for their turn’ and to send their art out to the world.

He goes further, saying we owe it to the world to share our craft, whether the world likes it or not. It’s not the world’s job to love us, it’s our job to just put ourselves and our art out there – embracing all the challenges along the way.

I love how Godin simultaneously inspires and gives the reader the kick up the butt they need while also delivering necessary reality checks.

5. Understanding Story – 

Ursula Le Guin has created this deceptively simple guide focusing on the craft of story and narrative.

 covers the main components of narrative, from the sound of language to sentence construction to point of view.

Le Guin combines illustrative examples with her own witty commentary, as well as exercises. She also includes advice on working in writing groups.

These are just some of the books I have loved and found incredibly valuable for improving my writing.

What books for writers do you recommend?

**Stay in the know about my writing projects and receive regular writing tips and articles like this – .**

I’ve always been fascinated with the truth.

First there’s the concept of telling lies.

As a general rule I don’t tell lies.

White lies at times perhaps. Omissions maybe.

But not big fat porky pies.

For one, I’m a little scared of being caught out.

I do subscribe to Sir Walter Scott’s quote:

I also pride myself on being: what you see is what you get.

I’m not great at pretending to be something I’m not and I don’t enjoy it.

I try hard to lead an authentic life and be true to myself.

Truth for me means finding your purpose in life and following it.

It means saying something the way it is, though sometimes it’s necessary to focus on positives and a little bit of sugar coating, which, on a whole, is better than lying even if you forgo self-preservation.

I guess what I find most interesting is individuals who habitually lie…so much so that they actually believe their lies.

Whether someone is lying to themselves or others, I feel bad for them because there is nothing as fulfilling as knowing you are living and owning your truths, even if you don’t like them sometimes.

‘Truth’ is today’s word out of the jar. Read more about my .